Dating other graduate students
As a grad student neck-deep in research, writing, or wrangling your TA section, it’s tempting to shut yourself off from this annual love-fest as you consume equal parts books and coffee.Eventually, though, you may want to socialize outside the faculty mixers, and you may even want to date. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. I am currently dating a Ph D student in the same department as me (I am also a Ph D student).During her first semester, there had been a rash of breakups as everyone adjusted to the demands of the program.But going for an MFA is about more than poverty and being swamped with work (although at their busiest times, grad students might not agree! At its best, graduate school means having the support to delve into your passions—and when my boyfriend was able to delve into his academic passions, that brought a new sparkle to our relationship as well.So, how do you juggle an enormous workload, a demanding adviser, and probably a job, with a social life that includes a thriving relationship with a significant other?If you’re ready to take a dip into the dating pool, consider these grad school dating dos and don’ts. Being a master’s or Ph D candidate means that your work never stays at the office.
Around this time of year (read: Valentine’s Day), it’s hard not to notice—try as you might—that everything’s suddenly turning heart-shaped. Even in an age when the feminists apparently control everything, it seems that the practice of older (usually male) scholars sleeping with much younger (usually female) graduate students is alive and …well, I wouldn’t say “well.” With two such relationships making recent news in the discipline of philosophy alone, for some of the older generation of professors (again, mostly male), the grad students are still a dating pool—and vice versa.Plus, I’m trying to figure out whether a writing MFA would be a good time investment for me, and talking to my boyfriend and his fellow students is giving me a lot of insight into how the program works. Obviously, grad students are using a lot of energy on their program instead of on their relationships. On the bright side, the busy-ness issues mean that my time-management skills are really getting polished.
Every Saturday, I write out all of our obligations for the week, and try to tweak our schedules so we have time together.
My boyfriend’s MFA is in writing, obviously something that I’m interested in as well, and he sometimes jokes that by being with him I’m getting a free MFA.